The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
