Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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