the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
