Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
