oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
