god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
