Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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