I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
