the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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