that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
