good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
