we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
