she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
