Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
