white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
