this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize