I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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