did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
True strength comes from lack of pants
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize