you guys were way drunker than both of me
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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