No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
