she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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