Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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