I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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