i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
