my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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