Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
