Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
