Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize