dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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