I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
