I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
