hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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