This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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