Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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