If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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