worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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