So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
