Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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