We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I would fuck him just for his dog
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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