omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
