last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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