She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
