sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
