Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
