would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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