Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Edward fifth and chaser hands
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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