I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Apparently you make a good broom.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
