He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
