I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize