this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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