Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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