Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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