so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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