Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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