He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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