Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
