You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
