Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
